Half the Sky Reflections

"[D]efeating poverty is more difficult than it seems at first"(21).

This is an important distinction to make, because even though it seems like it should be obvious, rich Western countries dive in all the time with donations and idealistic intentions expecting that it will work. That somehow what they're doing is different and innovative and that they'll be the ones to get it right, all the while overlooking a few very important things, the most important of which being cultural differences. One great example of this in the book is with the groups that try to stop genital cutting. Campaigns to change laws to stop it do very little to change actual instances. When the UN puts up billboards in urban cities, the rural women who are doing most of the cutting are completely unaffected as they can't even read the signs. However, groups like Tostan, who take into account the cultural differences by allowing choice by providing information instead of patronizing the women do much better. I think this is interesting, because I probably wouldn't have really thought about it or known how to approach the problem.
People seem to think that if they just throw money at a problem, it will fix itself, especially poverty. But just giving poor people money doesn't really solve the problems. An unfortunate number of the men will just spend it on booze and a mistress. The chapter about how women allocate resources differently was interesting. It made me slightly uncomfortable to make such a generalization about men and women, however at the end of the day whatever works. Saying that there were better water services, less bribes for local officials, and more money spent on education when women were in charge is certainly appealing. The caveat that "services appeared to be superior, yet dissatisfaction was greater" when villages were run by women is a bit discouraging, and I think that it is probably still true to some extent in the United States(197). We still have strange beliefs about women, I remember in my U.S. Government class last year the teacher asked the class if we would vote for a women president or not. The men, of course, were all afraid to answer, but one girl was quite certain she wouldn't. She said that women were too emotional and so they couldn't be trusted with that level of leadership. I found this both bewildering and amusing, as men are just as emotional as women are, they just tend to show it less.

Kristof, Nicholas D., and Sheryl WuDunn. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. 1st ed. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009. Print.

Masculinity and Femininity

What do I think of when I hear the word "masculine"? I think of strength, work ethic, emotional stability, a rugged 'outdoorsiness'. I think of muscles and stony faces and cold eyes. I think of people controlled by their sexual desires and who are placed above me. I think of Ryan Gosling, Clint Eastwood, and Chuck Norris. I think of men with power, not just physical power, but social and economic power and prowess as well. But it isn't realistic for men to be like this. Men have just as many emotions as women, and they aren't the sum of their sexual desires. It's not their fault they've had the privilege of respect in society for thousands of years, and it's not their fault that an unfortunate number of them marginalize women as a pair of boobs walking down the street.

What do I think of when I hear the word "feminine"? I think of flowers and a delicate sort of class. I think of gentleness and softness and a sweet smile. I think of makeup and beauty products and boob jobs. I think of foot binding and corsets and the oppression of beauty. I think of stupidity and overreactions and being overemotional. I think of crying and sensitivity and materialism. I think of thin, delicate bodies that still somehow manage to have meat on their bones in all the right places. But this isn't realistic either. Women are more than their bodies, they can be just as smart as men and wearing a dress and having nice makeup doesn't make you any less intelligent or capable than not doing so. Why is being "girly" bad while being "manly" good? Why is it okay for girls to dress like boys but not for boys to dress like us? Why is it okay to call a grown woman a "girl" but not okay to call a grown man a "boy"? Why are women viewed as irrational and jealous and hormonal when guys are just as bad? Men have hormonal cycles like we do, yet no one talks about it.

I wear a lot of makeup. I have curly hair. I like to look good and to smell good and I've always been a girly girl. People always underestimate me and look at me like I'm stupid. I know it, I've been told, and even when I haven't I can see it in their eyes. It frustrates me and reduces me to a pretty face with no brains and no worth to society other than a body and a thing to waste money on. I know this, and yet I have done it to other girls. I see a girly girl and sometimes, before my conscious mind takes over to consider actual logic, I do the same thing they all do to me. But why? I know it is not true and yet how many times have I done it? Who told me to think like that? There was never anyone in my life who asserted this was true, in face my mother isn't traditionally feminine in many ways. She likes pretty clothes and some amount of makeup, and is someone I would consider emotional. But she is strong, independent, and somewhat 'butch' in her personality. Society tells me one thing, but I personally know another.

Thinking of femininity reminds me of my favorite spoken word poem, by Katie Makkai: "Pretty".
When she imagines her daughter begging to be made pretty and perfect, she responds with
“No! The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.
“You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. But you, will never be merely 'pretty'.”

 I keep those words in my head and I know I'll turn out just fine.

Pretty- Katie Makkai